feed your head

Valium, once again!

Integrity is hella important. I think that is one of the biggest lessons I learned at the Art Institute del San Francisco.

For instance, I recently came across a painting of Mark Ryden's that I found quite upsetting. It was something I had already dreamt up, and he apparently beat me to the punch. His was exactly what I had envisioned. Am I going to do it now? No.

There is a difference between borrowing shapes, colors, and ideas and building on them, and then there is just straight stealing.

white skirt

white skirt
Originally uploaded by jessica m

People on the internet respond really well to titties.

While drawing with the pen I sort of screwed up some fingers, if you haven't noticed yet, don't look.


So, I went shopping with my mom and the whole trip made me remember why I hate America.

First, we pull up to the same gas station we always go to, and there a very nice homeless veteran who always sits near the door. I was able to give him a few dollars today, but I have about twelve dollars and four cents to my name. This nasty bitchcuntwhore drives up and parks her HUGE American SUV about three feet right in front of him! Her head lights probably blinded the poor guy. I thought she might hit him, as if not having a home isn't enough. She gets out of her car and starts smoking and talking to an old worn out whore with one foot in the grave, in a GIGANTIC super American TRUCK which is totally blocking the exit of the gas station. My mom whose mouth is just as foul as mine rolls down her window and says "why don't you get the fuck out of the way selfish bitch" and we ride off into the sunset.

All of it made me realize that I hate you America. I hate people who get angry when I say that I hate America. I am an American, I have the freedom to hate whatever I want. SUCKAS!

Another reason: no veteran should be homeless for any reason, unless he wants to be. I am not in support of the military or the government at all, but I think if you sacrifice yourself for this country (though I don't know why you would), then you shouldn't ever have to be homeless.

Medical care, what really needs to be said. It's a tragedy, the richest country in the world, hella no health care. I am one of the uncovered and I must say, it sucks. My grandfather died of cancer in 1989, there were men from the secret service there on his death bed to make sure he wouldn't spill any secrets, this I remember well. He wanted to write a book, but the government said "NOno NONONO no" and never trusted him again. He almost died for them, and they were there when he died. It only took five months.

My mom had cancer, this is what brought me back to Sacramento. Are we trying to fix cancer, HELLLLLL NO! Capitalism is not conducive to good health. Chemotherapy and radiation are big money makers. We're not going to cure cancer, until we find a cure for insatiable greed.

Another thing, I just hate capitalism in general. It seems more prevalent and horrible than ever, especially in places like Natomas. Natomas disgusts me, yet delights me, because it could flood and I can imagine it. I really don't even like money, I feel happier broke. I've seen both sides, I've been well off and I've been dirt poor and let me tell you, poor is better for me.



So, I told my mom I wanted to move out of the country. To Switzerland or maybe Austria. If Austria is good enough for the family Von Trapp, than it's good enough for me.

my head as clear as a bell

Art is truly the only thing I have ever cared about. As a child all I did was draw. I would draw beautiful women and decadent clothing. I would draw all day and all night. During class, during recess, on my homework.

My mom recently told me that if I ever became pregnant not to get an abortion, but to let her raise it. The baby would hate her and then hate me for giving it to her.


I find big hair to be absolutely necessary.

My weakness is Mexican food. I also have a weakness for a Mexican. Now I'm fat, but we're totally happy.

I procrastinate because I love working under pressure.

I drink alot of coffee.

I would hem David Lynch's pants if he wanted me to.

I can make clothes from patterns, I can make patterns from scratch, but I never do because I hate to sew.


My record collection is the only evidence that I have ever held a job.

I love really old Playboys, pre-Barbie Benton only.

I come from a long line of photographers and pilots.

My grandmothers and Rob's grandmother, rest in peace, are my idols.

I have recently reconnected with two lovely ladies that I've missed.

Physical fights keep breaking out around me when I leave my house.

Richard St. Ofle is my favorite artist in Sacramento.

I love horror movies.

I collect old handbags, shoes, dresses, jewelry and basically anything weird.

I hate southern California.

I'm Swedish. I still have family there, and I would like to meet them.


Rob calls old people "pre-corpses" and it totally makes me laugh.

I live in the hood and I love it.

I have a painting for a friend that needs finishing.

I'm setting 22 tables for the funeral feast

I love pen and ink with gauche and pencil. It's the most fun.

Tomorrow night Rob is playing at the house on 22nd and S. It's gonna be acidcop so you know it's gonna be nasty. We were invited to get goth after that, and we just might. So, to the one or two people who might read this, 22nd and S, man!

Oh, then Times of Desperation is playing in Oakland Saturday night.

I feel like there is something else....

real talk

I love fairy tale town. It's an odd place. Apparently you cannot go in without a child, which I understand, but I don't know a single kid! I come from a giant Swedish family, yet know one in my family has a kid! None of my friends have children, I don't even know anyone who is pregnant. In fact, I never want kids. My fairy tale town future is a bleak one.

I still took some pictures from outside, which I know made me look really, really, creepy.

I am working on some squares of my recent paintings. Yes!

multiple

multiple
Originally uploaded by jessica m

I am using the for illustration friday. You know what I think of illustration friday? Nothing.

Je Hais Ma Vie

This lovely over-powering floral design is from a scrap of old wallpaper. I don't really much care for the composition, I think the right side is too busy. i doesn't seem particularly

I got a look inside fairy tale town, oh how I wish I could take photos inside. You can't go inside without a child though. Lord knows there are no kids in my future, in fact, I don't even know anyone with a child. This lovely girl Amanda used to live with us when we were in high school and she is expecting, in fact her baby is due right around the time of my birthday. Her baby shower is this weekend, thank god baby showers don't involve babies.

I got some new stuff last night, more watercolors, white drawing ink, two tubes of white gauche, and a new watercolor block.

I recently scanned some new stuff, the scans look not so great.